Using Positive Self-Talk to Conquer Any Goal

Do you feel like you are always talking yourself out of success?  As soon as you start to set goals for yourself, do you suddenly have nagging thoughts about how you aren't up to the task or how you simply aren't qualified to carry it through? 

If you have ever experienced either situation, you need to change the way you respond to your inner dialogue.  Instead of obeying your negative commands, you can use positive self-talk to counter the negativity and overcome nearly all anxious thoughts.

Setting Goals and Sticking to Them with Positive Self-Talk

Are you initially filled with excitement when you first set goals for yourself? Are these thoughts then followed by self-doubt and self-defeating thoughts that stop you in your tracks before you even get started?

It can be difficult to make the most of your life when you are constantly talking yourself out of being a success.  It can be frustrating and discouraging to have these thoughts constantly plaguing you. Many of us, in fact, don't even realize we have them! All we know is that we don't have the confidence to stick to our plans and reach our goals.

But there's another way!

Positive self-talk is an effective way to set goals and ensure that you stick to them, even if you have never been able to do this before.  The way this works is that you decide what goal is important to you, and then you plan the logistics of how you are going to attain this goal.  When self-doubt starts kicking in, you will respond with affirmations that prove your success without surrendering to the negative pressure. Since you're reading this article, it's clear that you're no quitter and you're certainly not a failure, so start believing in yourself!

Re-Programming Your Mind

Affirmations are essentially positive statements that re-program your mind for the positive. The moment you have a self-defeating thought you'd be able to counter the negative with a motivating statement. An example of a positive affirmation is: "I am worthy of great success," or "I see myself in the winner's circle."  What this does is replace negativity with thoughts that will help you move toward your goals instead of further away from them.

Positive self-talk is easier to implement than you might think. You may not be aware of the severity of the negative dialogue currently within your mind. However, once you begin with positive self-talk, you will suddenly realize that you are self-sabotaging the goals you set for yourself from the minute that you make them. This process can open your eyes to exactly how much this inner conversation has been interfering with your life. You'll feel hopeful that you can now set goals and surpass them.

Through positive self-talk you will be able easily set long and short-term goals for yourself. And when you use affirmations, you'll have accessible tools to help you push yourself further than ever before. Learning to quiet negativity with positive thoughts is a great move toward setting and attaining future goals with ease.

Effective Steps For Managing Anxiety

Have you ever been in a situation that brought on sweats, rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath? You probably weren’t having a heart attack but an anxiety attack.  If you suffer from anxiety disorders, learning to manage it is the first step to overcoming it.

Anxiety is characterized as extreme reactions to fearful situations.  When someone follows you into a dark alley, those anxious feelings of a racing heartbeat and sweaty palms gives way to heightened senses and a rush of adrenalin that can save your life.  This is the fight or flight syndrome. 

In the case of frequent anxiety, the fearful feelings are dread of a particular situation and not the situation itself.  Getting caught in traffic can cause an anxiety attack over what might happen when you get to work late.  Starting a new job can bring on anxiety attacks.  You don’t know anyone and fear of that unknown can send you into a panic.

Everyone experiences panic or anxiety in small ways.  Like the fight or flight example, it can save your life.  In new situations, we get panicky but when the outcome we fear fails to materialize, the anxiety stops.  For someone with chronic anxiety, this is not the case.

Every situation that brings anxiety is not life-threatening.  More than likely it is an extremely stressful situation that has brought on the anxiety as a way of dealing with it.  Unchecked anxiety of this type can lead to depression.

If you suffer from anxiety attacks on occasion or a more frequent anxiety disorder, there are steps you can take to keep your anxiety under control. 

1. See a professional.  This is always a good first step.  Self-diagnosis of any type of physical or mental condition is unwise and can be dangerous.  A professional psychologist can help you understand your anxiety and prescribe medication or other effective techniques.

2. Get a good night’s sleep.  During the sleep cycle, your body repairs itself.  You feel more rested after several hours of restorative sleep, reaching the REM stage.  Most people need eight hours a night which varies within an hour or two each way.

3. Exercise on a consistent basis.  Exercise helps you to use oxygen more efficiently.  It helps to get more oxygen to the brain.  It also increases focus which may help you see solutions to problems rather than simply worrying about them. 

4. Meditate.  Meditation is more than chanting mantras.  Yoga is an exercise that involves quieting the mind and controlling your breathing.  Simple mediation such as taking 5 minutes to clear your mind everyday can work wonders in the fight against anxiety.

5. Manage the worry.  When you feel your pulse start to quicken, count backwards from ten.  As you count, focus on the situation.  What has actually happened? Resist the urge to read anything more into the situation. 

6. Don’t use alcohol.  You might think that the glass of wine is relaxing your tension but alcohol is a depressant.  In anxious situations you could rely too heavily on it and gain another problem in the process.

7. Find some relaxing activities.  Stress can rob you of your energy.  On a regular basis, do something you like such as gardening, painting, reading or listening to music.  

Anxiety can come into your life at any time.  It’s normal.  When the anxiety becomes frequent you could be at risk for more serious conditions.  If you feel your anxiety is starting to take over your life or increasingly causing you problems, seek professional help immediately.  There is no need to suffer this terrible condition in silence.

A discovery about myself...

I was an “Air Force Brat” and we moved around A LOT. I went to 3 different schools during the 1st grade, 3 different high schools and 3 other schools in between. I can tell you from personal experience that children of military families are very resilient. You learn at a very young age how to adapt and how to make new friends quickly. But since you move so much, it becomes extremely difficult (especially as a kid) to keep in touch with those friends. The upside is you learn a lot, and you get to see and experience new places and live all over the world.

When I was 16, my family moved from the Philippines (where we spent 11 months) to Southern California. On the surface, I guess that would seem like no big deal. And I’ve spent all the years since then, believing just that, until something very unexpected happened.

I was contacted about 2 weeks ago, by one of my very best friends from when I lived in the Philippines. She informed me that “everyone” (all of our friends) were now on Facebook. I already had a Facebook account, so I started sending friend requests. Each one of my requests began with, “you may not remember me, but…” – and I really thought these people would either not remember me at all, or maybe they never really cared, so it didn’t matter. Life goes on – whatever.

But then I discovered that what I had believed about myself, any friends or people in general, for all these years was false, and perhaps a teenager’s way of coping with something she just couldn’t deal with.

Everyone’s reaction was something like, “Of course I remember you…” and to tell you the truth, I was surprised – very surprised. The more I corresponded, instant-messaged and emailed them, the more I felt like we all just picked up exactly where we left off.

The feeling was overwhelming and I think I cried for two days. I realized that all of us had some sort of bond that was really difficult to explain. I kept asking myself, “what could have possibly happened in those short 11 months that would cause a bunch of kids to remain so close – even after two decades?”

We have all been joking around, posting pictures and reminiscing and enjoying every minute of it – remembering the good times and seeing everyone’s children and families. But I started to realize that most of the things that happened – the things we did together during that time, I could not remember at all – no matter how hard I tried.

I have always been the one with the “good memory”, so it was extremely frustrating for me, not being able to remember things that my friends were telling me we did together. So I tried harder – I wanted to remember everything so badly.

I realized then, that at the age of 16, I made a decision to block those memories out completely. Whether I consciously knew it at the time or not - the decision was made.

Then , after reviewing the few things I could remember, it occurred to me that from the moment I made that decision, I struggled to fit in with my peers – I didn’t like my life very much… it was just “okay”…and I just did what I had to do … day by day. I didn’t allow myself to feel anything – numb most of the time. I was always on guard and never completely trusted anyone. I guess I never wanted to hurt that way again.

I was mad at myself, at first, for being that stupid teenager who blocked everything out, which possibly caused some of the hardships and heartache I've experienced since then.

That was the first time I remember feeling insecure about myself. I don’t remember being that way before we moved to California. And my friends don’t seem to remember me that way, either.

I have felt there was something about me that was missing my entire adult life. But I never really knew what that really meant or if I would ever figure it out. You know those commercials for anti-depression medication? The ones where everything is gray and gloomy? That’s pretty much how I viewed everything –and I mean everything -- there are no fairy tales, nobody really cares and the only person you can count on is yourself.

So I learned to be very strong and do everything on my own. I would even refuse help when it was offered, because I didn’t want anyone to have the opportunity to hold anything over my head.

But, believe it or not, now I feel like I’ve found that missing piece. It’s as if I remember now, what it’s like to just be myself - no trying to fit in – to just be me. It’s like a big relief - like I can finally relax and trust people again.

So if my “friends who have turned into family” are reading any of this… thank you so much for finding me and for still being there after all these years. You made a difference in my life way back then, and you’ve made an even bigger difference in my life now. So, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Now – where did I put that box of Kleenex?


Oh...and by the way...those blocked memories are now slowly starting to trickle back in!

$50 Spa Treatments This week???

I had no idea that April 13th - 19th was SPA WEEK!

This information was too good not to pass on to my bloggy friends!

Please go to "Miss Bargainista's" Blog and check out all the info!

I'm definitely going to try to schedule one in this week!

Cutting Back and Cutting Costs

Many of us are having to cut back these days, so I feel that any useful tip about saving money is worth checking out.  So here is a free report on cutting your grocery budget in half:

 

(just right-click and choose "Save As" to save the report to your computer)

Enjoy!  And please let me know if you found anything helpful enough to share!