(This was originally posted in February 2009. I felt it was still relevant to current circumstances, and just reading it again made me feel empowered. I'm re-posting so that it can be a reminder to me and anyone else out there who might need it!)
Have you ever had one of those dreams – where you’re trying to scream but no one can hear you? Or where you are telling anyone and everyone something so important that your life depends on it – and NO ONE believes you or will even LISTEN to you? Well – welcome to the nightmare I’ve been living in for the last few months.
We’ve been dealing with family drama – which has subsequently seeped its way into the business area of my life as well. It hasn’t been easy – and not just for me, also for those close to me. Many things have transpired: a little back-stabbing, some under-handed manipulation, some false rumors, a little bit of taking credit where it ISN’T due, along with lots of word-twisting and lies, lies, lies. And all this for the love of money, power and control.
Because of these things, my life has been turned upside-down – my workload has tripled, my home life has been greatly affected and even my children have felt some of the ripples of this negativity. The worst part of it all, though, is not being heard.
There are many people in my “world” that don’t believe you need to be heard. They believe that you can let go of many things on your own. This can be extremely frustrating – not just on a personal level, but especially when, as a professional, you try to address a business problem in a professional manner, only to be shut down because that person doesn’t want to “hear it”.
So, several months of being overworked, never being heard/validated and becoming more and more tired, started to make me feel a little depressed. But, just as I was beginning to give up, I received a very special email...one of my daily “Notes from the Universe” which I subscribe to on www.tut.com:
And you SO can.
ILY, The Universe
Besides, Kelly, your happiness, abundance, health, and friendships are NOT dependent on how others behave."
(emphasis added by me)
When I read that, I felt a huge rush of relief. All of a sudden I got it. I got what some of those around me were trying to tell me… but there was a BIG difference in the presentation.
There are kind, gentle, loving ways of getting a point across to someone. Being supportive isn’t just about getting that person to the end result. Being supportive is also about listening, being that shoulder to cry on, or that friend to lean on. Being supportive is about being there.
(Telling someone you don’t want to hear it, is quite frankly, just plain mean! And it conveys the message that you just don’t care and can’t be bothered.)
No one can control me, insult me, make me feel sad or unhappy – unless I let them.